Parents, this weekend is the Academy of West Birdville Fall Festival that we are hosting for the students of the school.  We have encouraged out students to participate in this event this Saturday, November 8th from 9:30am-2:30pm.  We are having all students, and parents, who want to participate in this outreach event to meet us at the school in Haltom City on Saturday.  If you are not sure how to get their click on the map link at the conclusion of this blog.

Map to the School

December 7th during both morning hours, NorthWood is having a baptism service.  If your teenager, or you, has accepted Christ and have not been baptized yet, we would like for you to participate in this church-wide celebration.  Here is how you can make sure you are a part of this incredible time.

1. Talk to you child about baptism and how it is important in their obedience to Christ
2. Talk to the Student Ministry staff via phone (817.431.2088 ext 122) or email (4nsmstaff @gmail.com) and let them know that you interested in participating.
3. Fill out the questionnaire and turn it back in to one of the Student Ministry Staff members by November 12th.  (Make sure you specify which service you want to be in…there will be a limit to how many will be in each service.)
4. Show up that morning and get ready to be dunked!
5. Celebrate afterwords with friends and family!  (You are in charge of planning your on party…NorthWood is just dunking you!)

We really are excited about this morning of celebrating the new lives Jesus has given to many people.  If you have any questions about this or would like to speak to a pastor in person, call or email using the information from above.

When I was in college there was a prominent private Christian college nearby which some of my friends attended that got famous for the girls replying, when asked out on a date, “I can’t I am dating God”. It was like a huge joke for me and my friends that people were actually saying that and how silly when really they were just using that to turn down those guys that they could NEVER marry.

 

But it’s really a great concept if you think about it. She supposedly means she is putting all her attention on God and not worrying about boys and dating. One thing I believe we girls lack is truly knowing how to date. How should we be treated by the opposite sex, cause TV tells us one thing church says something else, but how should it all be handled. That’s where you dads come in.

 

As I have mentioned before my dad passed away when I was eleven. He had battled cancer for 3-4 years up to that point. One of my strongest memories with my dad is a date he took me on towards ‘the end’. That night I remember going to McDonald’s (my favorite place to eat) and him having to sit on a pillow cause he had lost so much weight. But even still it was important to him to show me his love and teach me a little something that night.

 

I don’t really remember the conversations or what we actually did. I do remember feeling loved and taken care of. I truly believe if my dad had lived to today that would not have been the last date he took me on nor the last lesson he would have taught. One thing I know he taught me was I never questioned his love for me. Which in turn I related to God and I don’t question His love either. I sometimes wonder how when I am so flawed and unfaithful that He remains.

 

Dads it is important for you to speak into your daughter’s life about boys. We know this but why?…First and foremost because we are called to teach our children the love and ways of God (Duet. 6). God has given us the great responsibility of teaching our offspring about Him, to model His ways. It’s a heavy weight but he gives us the words and opportunities. Just like I mentioned in the last paragraph my dad modeled the unwavering love for me and helped me view God in that light. You too can teach your daughters that your love will last beyond any silly boy’s. You are the model, whether you like it or admit to it or not, for how your daughter pictures God.

 

Secondly, moms don’t understand boys the way dads do, so it is your responsibility to teach your daughter a little bit about the male thinking. Show them how a girl should be treated with respect, how she can treat boys with respect, and how she should respect herself. Explain to them some of the “games” that boys like to play to get a girl.  This is important so that your little princess won’t fall prey to the “bad boys”.  (I truly don’t believe that all guys are bad, but some are just plan selfish.)  Show them that the only thing they have to give a boy is time to let them know they are into them. Teach them that they are special to you and that your love will never leave them.

 

Thirdly, this will be a special way for you to add to your daughter’s “emotional tank”. One thing girls search for is the emotional connection with males; if their tank is full from dads, they are less likely to make silly mistakes with boys. Plan something that she thinks is fun, be yourself, and really listen to her. Taking your daughter out on dates will be a learning experience for both of you. While you are showing her about boys and respect, you will get to know the heart of your daughter and begin to see details of what makes her special. Her emotional tank will be full and she won’t go searching for love in guys.

 

Don’t forget to take your wife out as well. Your children see everything. Let them see that you love your wife and still have fun with her. Children learn how to handle relationships from you, so having a healthy marriage will give them a pattern to follow for their future spouses.

 

If your daughter is a junior or senior in high school don’t think it is too late. It’s never too late to show your daughter she is special. Set up a night just for you two and ask her to go out on a date with you. She may laugh or think you are kidding but don’t back down. This is important, especially if she has dated some ‘not so quality’ boys. Don’t preach just love.

by Drs. Gary and Greg Smalley from the DNA of Parent-Teen Relationships
07/10/06

What is actually driving the arguments you have with your teenager? And the answer may surprise you: FEAR! Every person on the planet wrestles with fear. People may not like to hear that. They may try to contradict this notion, “But I’m not afraid of anything. I feel perfectly safe in my home. I’m not afraid of my teen.” That’s good, but that isn’t the kind of fear we’re talking about. We mean things like fear of failure or fear of not being loved or fear of being alone.

Fear is one of the primary motivators for all behavior. Everyone has typical and often highly developed behaviors they use to deal with their fears.

As the primary motivator for behavior, fear frequently colors the way we live and react to life. Our fears can take many forms, including such things as anxiety, worry, concern, stress, apprehension, dread, defensiveness, avoidance, etc. Our fears can often be irrational. Our fear-based behaviors will often lead to us reacting, developing life strategies, and coping behaviors that carry numerous unfortunate consequences. Many times we let fear stop us from doing what we want and need to do. While there are many core fears, some of the more common ones we’ve seen include fears of being: alone, helpless, controlled, worthless, rejected, abandoned, failure, and unimportant.

To deal with our fears, most people—consciously and unconsciously—fall into well-worn patterns of reacting when someone pushes their fear buttons. They’ll do anything to soothe their hurt. They’ll do or say anything to calm their fears.

More often than not, emotions and thinking result in behavior that damages relationships. When your fears are triggered, you react. You may fear losing control, so you try to seize control. You may fear losing connection, so you try to seize connection. Reactions are “strategies” we employ to get the other person to help us feel better.

This means that it’s not merely your fears that disrupts and injures your relationships. It’s how you choose to react when your son or daughter pushes your fear buttons. Most of us use unhealthy, faulty reactions to deal with our fear, and as a result we sabotage our relationships. We use these reactions in order to protect ourselves. We react to the person who pushed our fear button by getting angry, blaming, withdrawing, belittling, defending, or a host of other things. These reactions generally are an attempt to change the emotion or control the other person so that the fear goes away. Thus, the emotion of fear becomes an enemy to conquer or avoid. Unfortunately, in our protected state our hearts become closed behind our defenses and walls, which also inadvertently shuts the door to intimacy.

However, as an emotion fear can be a very useful source of information, and acknowledging and discussing fear can open the door to an intimate moment. Being willing to be vulnerable enough to share our fears with one another opens the door to sharing caring, compassion, understanding, and love; in other words, intimacy. (more…)

I know that you are probably getting tired of me talking about my son, but I learn from him on this whole parenting subject every day.  Not too long ago I read a book call “Do Hard Things” by two 18 year old brothers.  The book was a challenge written to teenagers to rebel against the teenage culture that says that teenagers don’t have any responsibility at this time in their life.So where has the culture gone wrong to produce teenagers who think like this.  In the early years, the word teenager didn’t even exist.  You were a child and then you were an adult at the age of 13.  Along the way, around the year 1900, labor and school laws were passed to protect kids from the harsh life of working in factories.  These laws were great laws because the factory life was indeed brutal.  But what happened from this point was not expected.  By taking kids out of a working world we took them out of the mindset of contributing and somehow they got placed in the world of consumerism.  Teenagers have come to a point where many think that they exist for the world to wait on them hand and foot.  They have this mentality now that they don’t have to do anything productive while they are teenagers.While this is a historical problem, parents today have bought into this mindset that is causing “teenage consumerism”. You ask how, by having low expectations for our teens today.  Listen to what the authors of “Do Hard Things” writes:

It’s almost gotten to the point that people expect less of teenagers than they do of toddlers.  Think about it.  Why do babies, with inferior motor skills, reasoning ability, and physical strength, experience nearly 100% success in overcoming difficult challenges, while teens often falter?  Well, one is expected, and the others is not.

Why does every healthy baby learn to walk while very few teenagers learn to dance?  One is expected, and the other is not.

Why does every healthy baby overcome communication barriers by learning to talk while very few teenagers overcome barriers between themselves and their parents by learning to communicate?  One is expected, and the other is not.

The truth is that all of us are susceptible to low expectations.  Once we have satisfied the minimum requirements, we tend to stop pushing ourselves.

As parents we cannot fall into the societal trap that says we don’t have to expect much from our kids.  The truth is if we want kids to excel in life than we need to expect more from them.  My wife and I decided not too long ago that it was not too much for our 19 month old to help around the house.  So I gassed up the mower and sent him out to mow.  Just kidding!  But we did decide that it was not too much for him to throw away his trash after he eats and take his dirty dishes to the sink where mommy or daddy takes the dishes and cleans them.  Some might say that this is too much to expect from a toddler.  Well I’ll tell you this, every time he says trash on the ground outside, he notices it and many times will go to pick up the trash to throw it away.

It is not too much to expect your teenagers to do something.  It is not too much to expect your teenager to make their bed, or to help around the house, or mow the yard (without pay).  It it not too much to expect more from them then the world they live in expects.  Let’s work together and recreate a society that is not afraid to expect more from teenagers.  Expect more and you just might get more!

Last week we got word or a family that is in the area who is in need of some help.  They were living in an unlivable trailer that was condemned by the city and are moving by the grace of God into a rent house over near the church.  They have nothing, no beds for the kids and really no furniture.  The project was turned over to the student ministry to provide the needs for this family.  So we told our students on a Wednesday night and took up a love offering and collected around $1,300.  Since then the word has gotten out to our NorthWood community and the people have stepped up the plate giving us several more hundred dollars as well as all the beds (a bunk bed, a full bed, a twin bed, and a queen bed), a couch, end tables, a kitchen table, some kitchen supplies, curtains, bedding, a full mattress, and several other small decorating pieces.  There was also a NorthWood man who donated time in his photo studio so that updated pictures could be taken of the family.
It truly has been cool to see how God has supplied all the needs for this family through a student ministry and the NorthWood community.  It was awesome to see all the people step up for the Extreme Home Makeover last weekend, and now we are seeing some of the same people and many new ones step up for this family.

I will keep you posted on the story of this family.  My hope is that one day you will get to meet this awesome family!  Keep them in your prayers.  I will also be keeping you posted with other needs that we come across.

I have to tell you that I am a Bible snob.  I don’t mean that in a bad way…I just mean that when it comes to Bible I like to have one that I know is good and can give me the accurate translation of God’s word.  Well I think that I have come across the best Bible that I have ever known and the best one to ever be written.  It is the ESV Study Bible.  (That is English Standard Version.)  It accurately communicates the original text and puts it in terms that is easily understood.  If you are looking to get yourself a new Bible or if your teenager is looking for a new Bible I recommend this Study Bible and translation.

Click on the picture below to visit the website and see for yourself the extensiveness of this new Study Bible.  There are numerous charts, articles, and study notes that will take your understanding of God’s word to a new level.  You can get this Bible online at www.amazon.com and www.esvstudybible.com or at any Christian book store.

This past sermon series we talked about parenting.  The very first sermon that Jordan preached was on types and styles of parenting.  I don’t think that my style of parenting has been confirmed yet, but I realized that I have some tendencies towards certain styles.  I am what you call a fixer.  When a situation arises in someone’s life I have the tendency to step in a fix that situation so that they don’t have to deal with it.  I have noticed that in my parenting as well.

When Brock was a little baby, like all babies, they can’t do much for themselves.  The totally depend on those who are around them to make sure they survive.  They need to eat…taken care of…need a new diaper…done.  The parent has to be there at all times to make sure all their needs are being met.  There are babies and they are treated like babies. 

While this is great and necessary for a portion of their lives there comes a time when the babying must stop and we have to let them grow up.  Not too long ago we started teaching Brock how to use a fork and spoon.  To this day we are still teaching!  Gets pretty messy sometimes!  One day Brock was sitting at his little table trying to eat spaghetti and was getting pretty frustrated.  So me being the fixer that I am decided to go over and just make his life easier – I was going to feed him.  I went to take the fork out of his hands and he pulled his hand back away from mine and gave me this look like, “Back off Jack…I can do this.”  (Note to self – don’t ever take a fork out of a determined, hungry, toddlers hand.)  So I backed off and just let him do it. 

What was taking place during all spaghetti hitting the floor and being smeared all over his body was learning.  You might even call hands-on-learning.  He was learning how the fork worked, how to get the spaghetti on his fork and into his mouth without it falling all over the place.  And what was I trying to do, do it for him. 

If we are going to have competent kids who grow up and learn how to fend for themselves, we are going to have to let them do some things on their own.  I see so many students who can’t even go into a fast-food joint and order food because their parents do it for them.  These parents are creating future adults who will not be able to do anything for themselves and always have to depend on someone else to do everything because that is how they were raised.  Scriptures says in 1 Corinthians 13:11 “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways”.   They only way that will happen is if we let them learn how to do things on their own and grow up.  I totally understand that sometimes it is easier if we just do it for them, but what an injustice that does for them in the long run.   Your kids need to know that you are there, but they also need to know that you expect them to learn to do things on their own.  What is the famous saying, “Feed a man a fish and he will come back to you for food.  Teach a man to fish and he will be able to feed himself”.  .

Are you that parent who does everything for your child or do you let your child learn things on their own with your supervision? 

This past Wednesday night we had one of the most dynamic speakers for teenagers.  He was the National Runner-up for the Jay Leno comedy search - his name - Scott Anderson.  Scott blessed us with his awesome words on happiness.  Just looking at this guy you would not think he had much to be happy about having cerebral palsy and being confined to a wheel chair, but this man is one of the happiest men I have ever met.

Besides his incredible humor, Scott spoke powerfully about how we must depend on Jesus and him alone for our happiness.  It is not possible for us to depend on the “stuff” of this world to make us happy. We cannot depend on relationships to make us happy. We also cannot count on ourselves to makes us happy.  Jesus came to this world to give us life and life the full (John 10:10) - happiness that last is happiness that comes from knowing Jesus Christ.

At the end of the message Scott presented the gospel to our middle school and high school students.  That night we had several students come to know Jesus for the first time in their lives.  What an incredible night we had!  If you would like to hear the message that Scott preached go to www.nsmyouth.com.